When I Go to Heaven, There Will Be an Ahi Tuna Burger There

October 7th, 2009 by Peter Kimmich

ahi tuna burgerWhen Moses came down from the mountain, he brought with him the stone tablets containing the strict, new rule system for everyone to follow. And he knew people would be upset. So, unmentioned in the scriptures, he brought something else with him to help make everyone feel better.

It was an ahi tuna burger. I’m not exaggerating at all. Ask any Sunday school teacher. The ahi tuna burger, despite being created by Eastern-themed restaurant Buddha’s Belly and thus having little or nothing to do with Western religion, is more or less a gift from God, sent to pacify the masses and give them refuge from the stress and perils of the world. And it does its job well.

This morsel of divine ambrosia (ok, it’s a tuna patty) envelops tiny hints of ginger, corn and other tasty ingredients. It sits on a buttery Hawaiian bun under two thick tomato slices, a few leaves of crispy lettuce, a large (but never large enough) chuck of avocado, sweet teriyaki sauce, and a nice layer of the restaurant’s spicy mayo, which is akin to the type you find in a sushi place. And if this combo isn’t holy enough, it comes with a golden heap of sweet potato fries, complete with a side of that spicy mayo for dipping.

If you can resist this godly entity of food pleasure, you should seriously consider leading a life of servitude, perhaps in a monastery in the Alpines. Because this, by our carefully reasoned logic, is without a doubt the best burger in Los Angeles.

Do you know of a better one? We dare you. Introduce us to it in the comments below!

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